I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i think my cat just said my name.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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