ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
