you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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