he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
they call him Oral-B. enough said
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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