I hate your face
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
