escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
