Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
