stop calling my apartment porn island.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
