he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
