Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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