hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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