There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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