life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
