what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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