Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
