I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
