OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
