I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
