3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
bring money and cleavage
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
