Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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