how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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