so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Sext me about skeletons
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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