I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
3pm strippers are depressing
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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