Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
