we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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