My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
