I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
