dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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