he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
