True but thats because hes a fetus.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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