they need to just BURY HIM!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
