That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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