I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
