Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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