yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
