i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we made out on top of his cat.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
