Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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