please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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