I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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