I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
