He uses pillows to masturbate.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
