You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
