Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize
