I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I skipped work to stalk him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
