the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
