so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
