Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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