exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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