You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
