ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
