I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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