i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
