her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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