They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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