even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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