I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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